c'est la vie.

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hiya. i'm caitlin, i'm a normal teenage girl. i have great friends, a supportive family, a boyfriend that i've been with for nearly a year and i'm pretty popular at school. some people would say my life is perfect, but it's not. it has one major flaw, and that is the burning desire to be thin. and i will be.


Monday, 4 October 2010

can't cope with this stress.

My earlier good mood has been absolutely diminished and all I am left with is anger and fustration. I'm completely and utterly fed up. So I did my sit ups, I did 200 all together and then my mum shouts me to come and eat my dinner. So I walk down the stairs into the kitchen where she's got this massive chicken mayo sandwich ready for me. It wasn't even real chicken, it was that horrible fatty stuff that they try and pass off as chicken. She was watching me while I was eating it so I had to eat it all. I sat chewing each bite until it just felt like horrible mush in my mouth.

Then I felt so horribly full so I did a few more sit ups and I decided to weigh myself, I could have cried when I saw what the scale said, I've gained 4 pounds apparently, although I do usually weigh myself in the morning after I wee so you never know. Urgh, I feel so fat and ugly. 

I'm so stressed out for these resits I've got in English, I got a B first time round and it was a year early because I was in year9 when I did them but apparently a B isn't good enough so I've got to do the whole thing again to get an A* and thats next month and I'm no where near ready for it because I've got to learn all the stuff for this year and revise last year, and do well in every other subject aswell, which I've also got pointless resits in. URGH! the only upside to all this is the fact that I'm going to have to go to revision sessions at dinner so it'll take my mind off eating.

I'm sorry, this is my forth post and already I'm boring you to death.  I'll make sure my next post is happy. I love you guys who are following me already :-) Thankyou <3

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